Probably Bad Form

On retirement dinners, risk calculations, and feeling excited again.

Do you think it’s bad form to skip your own retirement dinner?

I asked my daughter that as I was getting ready to leave.

“Yeah,” she said. “Probably.”

Which, of course, I already knew.

Seeing the invite in my inbox was jarring. Seeing it appear on my calendar felt even stranger. One more meeting. Except this one existed because I was leaving.

In the end, I went.

I was late, though fortunately not the last to arrive.

Dinner was at a lovely restaurant I need to return to with Sean sometime.

I joined this organization in 2019. A lot can happen in seven years.

Some of the people there I’ve worked with the entire time. One of them is the reason I moved to the organization in the first place. Another inherited first half my team and one project, then eventually the rest of the team and another project too. She does not appear to hate me for any of this, which honestly feels like its own kind of successful transition plan.

At dinner, I learned I’m the only person my former manager knows of who is actually taking the VRP. I think I already suspected that. It had felt like the people around me were staying. Sometimes your instincts are accurate.

People asked what comes next.

I talked about the business Sean and I are starting. About taking time with the girls before they leave for college. About resting a little.

People said it sounded like I had a plan.

And I do, sort of.

But if I’m honest, leaving wasn’t some dramatic leap toward a lifelong dream. It was a risk calculation. I looked at the timing, the market, my energy level, the offer itself, and the kind of life I wanted over the next few years.

For me, there wasn’t really much choice.

This time last year, I was exhausted. The idea of finding another job, or reinventing myself, or building something would have felt overwhelming. But this new role changed something for me. I’m learning again. Curious again. Every day I find something new I want to investigate or build or understand.

So yes, there’s a plan. At least the outline of one.

Will it work? We’ll see.

But what I really have is excitement. And years of knowledge. And a family that loves me.

Honestly, that feels like enough to start from.

Nutter Butter from Pomegranate Bistro

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Alison + Wiggins